So I’m in the kitchen washing my cup so I could make some Crystal Light in it, as I do every day and these motherfuckers know that because they make smart ass comments about how I never drink “free pop” from the “free vending machine”.  Fuck Off!  I feel someone standing right beside me so I look up and this d-bag coworker was like “howdy” and then shoves his way into the sink to wash his plate before putting it in the dishwasher.  Then turns off the water.  As if I wasn’t a) already in the middle of washing my own damn cup [so wait your damn turn], and b) going to FINISH washing my cup after you so rudely shoved your way in [so leave the damn water on ass!].  At first I’m like “Oh he just wants to rinse his plate real quick” because our dish washer blows and nine times out of ten, you gotta rewash the “clean” stuff when you pull it out of the dishwasher or cupboard.  There was not a speck of food on the plate so I figure I could forgive a quick rinse.  But no, he proceeds to scrub the invisible food encrusted plate, splashing his soapy water on me, then puts it in the effing dishwasher and walks out.  This is the same dude who literally brings all of his groceries required to make a lunch 5 days a week and stores them in the fridge here [which 40 other people also have to share].  He pulls them all out and makes his lunch in the kitchen, then moves everyone’s shit to put his groceries back in the fridge.  

This is precisely why in 2 days, while celebrating my last day here with one last Beer Friday, I am going to find his St. Vincent mug* and smash it to ever-loving pieces on the kitchen floor so when he walks in there Monday morning, he will cry like a little bitch and his entire week  life will be ruined.

*This mug was once left in the sink by said d-bag, so someone kindly washed it and put it in the cupboard.  D-bag proceeds to send an email to the entire company asking for whoever took his cup to please return it [rather than actually looking for it] because it has sentimental value.  The original email was followed by 3 more emails begging for the safe return of the cup.  It’s mutherfucking St Vincent College in Pittsburgh!!!! Get the fuck over it.