November 2011
3 posts
1 tag
How many mini donuts equal a normal size donut? Cause I’m pretty sure I just ate the equivalent of at least 3 normal donuts
Once upon a time
I had the worst job ever and spent 99% of my day scrolling my dashboard rather than my inbox. Nowadays, got an awesome job, but I go days without even checking my dashboard, let alone finding time to actually post anything remotely interesting. I miss the Tumblverse badly :(
September 2011
8 posts
Remember all those times I had so much work to do...
Yeah me neither… Honestly though, my new job is 1000000% cooler than my last one. I’m only on day four and they’ve put my old company to shame in more ways than I ever imagined. It’s no wonder I was such a bitchface at the old place
Two more days of co-worker jackassery...
So I’m in the kitchen washing my cup so I could make some Crystal Light in it, as I do every day and these motherfuckers know that because they make smart ass comments about how I never drink “free pop” from the “free vending machine”. Fuck Off! I feel someone standing right beside me so I look up and this d-bag coworker was like “howdy” and then shoves...
2 tags
I will miss Tupac Tuesday
It started as a joke but ended up being “that thing that Cindy does every Tuesday that drives us effing crazy”. While it is true that I do it mostly to annoy my asshole coworkers, I actually get 349584573497% more work done on Tupac Tuesday. Perhaps singing cussing along to the lyrics helps vent my frustrations, cause lord knows that these Psych PhD’s are the dumbest people...
2 tags
Not only is it a 4-day work week, but it’s my last week in this office ever! Life is good.
Am I the only one who loves the smell of cholesterol in my hair? Bout to have the softest hair ever
This bitch cannot be serious
A judge has rejected the appeal of a woman awaiting the death penalty for starving her 7-year-old daughter.
Washington County Judge Paul Pozonsky rejected 42-year-old Michelle Tharp’s claims that she didn’t receive a fair trial before she was sentenced to death in November 2000. Ms. Tharp was convicted of first-degree murder in the 1998 death of Tausha Lee Lanham, who weighed less...
Wedding Do Overs
We just celebrated our 1 year anniversary last month. Thinking back, there are a few minor things I wish had been different (like the lavender dresses looking baby blue in every damn photo!), but overall I want a Do Over just because it was so damn fun that I wish the day would have lasted longer! Then I see shit like this:
This was an actual wedding cake topper at someone’s wedding. In...
Dear T.I.
I figure you had enough damn time in jail to write up some new shit. Knock off the guns and purple drank shit and make me a new CD. K? Thanks.
Love, Cin
August 2011
19 posts
Yeah I'll miss you too
The email that my boss just sent to my fellow managers to let them know that I have resigned was the most grammatically effed up piece of crap email that it probably would have been more effective if he hadn’t even written it at all. Or even tried to pretend for 5 minutes that he actually gives a shit that I am leaving. Reason #485934754387589437598347753 why I cannot wait to leave this...
4 tags
Dear PayPal
I’m all for you being super secure and all that shit but really? I just want to add a new email address and change my damn name on the account. I don’t carry around my marriage license every day and therefore, cannot fax it to you on a whim. I just want to buy a damn necklace on etsy for fuck’s sake!
Quit being a greedy bitch and let me enjoy some retail therapy already!
Carefully planning what I am going to say to my boss today when I tell him I am resigning. FOAD is not completely out of the realm of possibility at this point.
Holy $&@#^$^#(@(%^( I got a new job!!!
Unless I have some criminal background I am unaware of. World ending in 2012 or not, I’m getting the eff out of my current hell hole finally. You best believe I’m gonna be blasting rap music, singing my heart out, and smoking a million cigarettes on my drive home today. Me n 2Pac like to celebrate like that… :)
Fruit snacks Real food
Got stung by some freak of nature insect last week and my foot/ankle swelled to the size of a grapefruit [two days later]. You know that little transformer that is secretly disguised as a cell phone and when they put him in the little glass box he turns into that little maniac bastard and goes all “hiiiii-ya!” trying to get out? Yeah I’m pretty sure some effing creature like...
Dear Jada →
Marc Anthony’s old emaciated ass is not now, nor will it ever, ever, ever, ever, EVER be as awesome as Will Smith’s. Girl, you trippin.
AIM
Having a convo with my coworkers about old AIM screen names. One of them used to use Ryin Bone. Mine at one point was Krimpncurl. What was yours?
1 tag
Move over Pretzel Jello*
There’s a new kid in town the ‘Burgh…
*the only other dessert I know with a pretzel crust
Click through for recipe, and other insanely delicious stuff
Really Careerbuilder?
I have an IT degree and have worked at a software company for 6 years. Where in the eff do you get the idea that I want to work as a manager at Bob Evans? Yeah, cause managing a restaurant is JUST LIKE computer programming.
The more I listen to my coworkers “normal” conversations (i.e., non-work related), the more I begin to think I am in some weird universe where there are no “normal” people left. I have nothing to talk about with these people. I definitely need to get out of the software industry…
One thing I cannot get on board with
Socks with open toe shoes….
Why ruin pretty shoes with ugly socks?
1 tag
Dear Coworkers (Reminder 423453254543)
When your print job gets jammed as hell in the printer, how bout ya go clear out the paper jam rather than sending your job to another printer and pretending you didn’t know? In case you are unaware, all you have to do is remove the jam, it will automatically reprint for you, so no need to worry about taking your lazy ass back to your cube to hit Print again. Next time I have to pull out...
Damian Marley - Hey Girl
Husb’s version of...
2 tags
My iPod's telling me I'm old
Seriously, it’s on random and the last five songs that played were:
I Wanna Be Down - Brandy ‘94
Round Here - Counting Crows ‘94
Doin Just Fine - Boyz II Men ‘97
I’m Good at Being Bad - TLC ‘99
Jesus or A Gun - Fuel ‘99*
I seriously have more up-to-date music on here but apparently my iPod thinks I’m back in middle/high school today.
*had to...
Sad but true
Me: Let's go to ZooBrew. It'll be something different than the usual, plus I have never been to the zoo
Husb: You've never been to the zoo? WTF
Me: No wait, I take that back. I think I was there once when I was like 6
Husb: So you don't remember if you've ever been to the zoo? Guess you're not going to remember this time either since the whole reason we're going there is to get drunk
Me: So it'll be like old times for you then
Sadly, I can say that I don't actually remember if I ever went to the zoo or not. Husb, on the other hand lived right behind the zoo growing up and used to jump the fence back in his high school days and drink beer in the zoo with his friends. Clearly, ZooBrew was a thing before it was actually a thing...
Tacky or not?
Announcing to your coworkers that you are engaged and then immediately going into a 10 minute spiel about how your diamond is “almost flawless, just one step down from flawless” and how big the stone is?
These people never cease to amaze me…
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July 2011
16 posts
I can be having the best day of my life but when Coldplay’s The Scientist comes on my pandora station, I get all sappy n shit.
Sometimes I like Beyonce as Etta James more than I like Etta James as Etta James
This dude cannot be serious
I understand I work at a software company. Not just any software company, but one that specializes in psychology. Many of the employees here are dorky programmer dudes that weigh 90lbs soaking wet with zero social skills whatsoever. ZE-RO. This is expected, I know. These idiots like to sit in the lunch room and talk about “other realms” and tangents and cosigns. Actually regardless...
Well then pistachios for breakfast it is…
"Hi" vs. "I'm a rude bitch"
Most of the time it’s not fun working in a small company where there’s only like 31 employees for various reasons. My biggest pet peeve used to be when you’d see people in the hallway/kitchen/restroom every 5 minutes and they’d be all “Oh hey what’s going on?” as if you hadn’t seen them in years. I JUST saw you 3 minutes ago in the copy room!...
1 tag
Those people
You know? The ones that will go on for 25 minutes about something that they know EVERYTHING about, when in all actuality, 99% of what they say is bullshit and everyone knows that but them. We have quite a few of those people in the office.
Today’s Gem of General Jackassery: “OMG Tim Dunn is soooo wonderful. I just love him! I can’t wait for the new season of Project Runway...
Pupsters
My dogs like to watch TV and apparently surf the web. Well Roxie does. Ozzie is a lazy ass as you can see in the background. Roxie just sits there and watches the mouse cursor move the whole time. It’s kind of annoying when you actually need to type.
Oh and she also likes to rub her face all over shit so her hair looks like she got swoopy bangs and we never groom her. Asshole
Chrome has made me lazy
Or stupid. Whatever. When I have a tab open and I want to go to another site, I close the open tab and open a new tab just so I can click on the thumbnail in Most Visited, rather than typing the address in the already open tab. For Christ’s sake it’s Chrome so I don’t even have to type the whole thing and I am still too lazy to type when I can just click. Every so often I get...
Dear Coworkers
Stop moving my shit in the fridge to make room for your groceries. This is not your personal refrigerator assholes! Maybe if you all would clean your half-eaten-god-only-knows-what-it-is crap outta there every once in a while, there would be more room for everyone’s stuff, eliminating the need for you to put your grimy fingers on my lunch in order to rearrange the space to better fit your...
2 tags
Girl Space
So Best Husband Ever and I finally have our new house (mostly) put together. Our previous doll house didn’t have much room for me to work on the 9 million DIY projects I have going on, so I was beyond thrilled that I finally have space to get shit done. Jewelry, artwork, sewing, etc… The “Husb just bought a motorcycle and a 55” flat screen” conversation somehow...
The Great Cornholio
Is ALSO coming back on in October?! Holy effing shit, TV. I can’t take much more!
Dexter Season 6 - October 2nd. Can this be, like, tomorrow? The trailer with “Personal Jesus” playing in the background. I’m dying here…..
"Half & Half" - The non-dairy kind
(Before I post my real thoughts on this) Is the term “half & half” as a description for a person who is half black and half white a regional thing (e.g., yinz in Pittsbugh vs. y’all in the south)? Clearly, a more correct word is “biracial”, but there seems to be a debate raging here. So, I’m turning to the trusty Tumblverse to settle the debate. Have you...
Nothing like finding out at 1:00 that you haves guests arriving at your house at 5:00 for dinner, when you usually don’t even arrive home from work until 5:05. Courtesy of my husband… Great
1 tag
I just now realized that the entire Pink Friday album on my iPhone has been on repeat since about 12:30. When I caught myself singing along to “Muny” AGAIN I realized that I haven’t had to change the music this whole afternoon. Clearly I’m losing my damn mind cause who listens to the same album nonstop for 4 hours?!! What the fuck is wrong with me today? Oh wait, I...
The only thing about my job that I currently like
One of my staff addresses me as “Nighthawk” in emails, and signs his name “Dragon”. About 97% of the text of these emails are direct movie quotes that no one else understands.
June 2011
8 posts
Finally caught up on my Game of Thrones episodes. Holy effing shit! When is season 2?!!!!
First thing to know, we're running experiments on...
Reason #49593453 I hate my job. The above is a real statement I got in an email today. Not only do I need to help PhD’s with their common sense groundbreaking research, I have to support their damn monkeys as well. Sadly, this is not the first time I’ve had to help animals. I was once asked if it was possible for fish to use a touchscreen monitor…
